stretch… and relax…
It’s apparently been quite a while since I last wrote something on here, so I thought I’d make the most of the now rare occasion that my computer is on :-)
One thing I must say, is that God has been “doing a good work in me” recently (see Philippians 1:6), one which has had a major effect on me and what I want from/to do with my life… pretty exciting, despite it’s potentially scary consequences. It’s all good really… it’ll definitely be interesting to see how life pans out :-)
It seems that I’m breaking some habits of a life time as a result. I do tend to be slightly highly strung - worrying too much about stuff that I don’t really need to worry that much about. Particularly, I’m susceptible to worrying about what people think of me, about how my future’s going to map out - definitely a little too concerned about that one most of the time, and other people to a lesser extent.
It’s quite typical of a shy person to feel conspicuous, and to not like being seen/heard/noticed, but to at the same time desire some sort of attention… obviously, not being a professional psychologist, I could be wrong. What I do know is that I have tendencies towards shyness and worrying about what people will think of me, what I think, and how I act. In the scheme of things, this isn’t that important - to some extent in moderation, but caring about what others think shouldn’t determine how we act, what we say, who we are… it’s been a long journey finally sussing this out… but I’m getting there :-P
On the other hand though, it can’t go to the other extreme. We live in a world where the likelihood that people’s feelings and beliefs get squashed because those around them may have blinkers on is quite high. In my experience, in talking to people, offense is often taken when someone has made a decision without including those who could be affected. Though at the same time, the understanding that it’s not always possible to include everybody’s feelings doesn’t often come into play. At the end of the day, it seems to come down to sensitivity: for those who are affected to not take it to heart so much, and for those who are affecting to be sensitive to those involved.
In an ideal world that would work, but as always, there are variables and underlying issues that often come into play in these things - issues that often haven’t been aired because they’re so close to the heart. In my own experience, my healing has come from letting these things go; they don’t help anybody, particularly yourself and those around you. Going back to a point from a previous post… renewing my mind and getting perspective doesn’t negate what may or may not have happened before, but it helps me to understand and to heal. Knowing what may have been the true driving force, as opposed to the superficial appearance of what was going on, often softens my heart to those who were involved.
So i’m obsessed with perspective… there’s nothing new there… but I’ve found that it helps in the forgiving process. I genuinely believe that forgiveness is a process. It takes time to build trust back up, it takes mercy, and it takes love. I find it interesting that compassion is part of the definition of mercy, a concern for others… selflessness, quieting our own pride in order to put others before ourselves. The long and short of it being humility: a humble view of one’s importance. I don’t think it disregards our own opinion, but logs it alongside that of others.
I think that’s one of the many, many reasons why I love spending time around people. Spending too much time in positions of authority holds potential for it to go to our heads, but on the flip side, if we spend to much time in positions that are low, it’s quite probable that we won’t fulfil our potential. As with most things, it’s about finding a balance. It’s good to spend time with people who stretch us, but I think it’s equally beneficial to relax. In fitness, you warm up, you stretch, you cool down, and you relax… if you forever stretch your muscles, they’re more susceptible to damage.
At the end of the ramble, I think my point is this… that it’s not worth the effort worrying about things you have no control over… like the thoughts of those around you, the future, other people. All we can do is keep breathing… making sure that we don’t get too highly strung and cause/get hurt, but also making sure that we don’t relax so much that we get complacent. Striking the balance and renewing the mind. It’s not as difficult as we might think :-)
